When Bad Books Happen to Good People

What is it lately? I've read three different really horrible books back to back. It says something about me that this is the first time ever! I've read over 2000 books in my life. Yet this is the first time I've read three bad books in a row and only the third time ever I actually couldn't finish a book (James Joyce...sigh). Yes I am one of 'those' people who have to sit through an entire movie or book even when its painfully bad. Mostly I just keep hoping it is going to get better. Then it ends and I feel like a sap. An Angry Sap. 

Now I'm not going to go into the long rants about the book which I would very much like to do but because it has been made very clear from the few people I've talked to that if it isn't on T.V. then their eyes glaze over and that being able to provide T.V. references for books is pre-requisite to having anyone understand what you are talking about or care. What I will say is that all three books struck me viscerally with their ineptitude. Not "Oh, I don't enjoy that type of book" or some aesthetic aversion to anything that didn't happen to me yesterday. No I am a die hard eccentric, when it comes to reading it is anything and everything goes. I will try it at least. Some of my all time favorites have come from simply picking up a random book off a shelf  and giving it a try. If it doesn't have a cover, that's better! That means I get to read a couple of pages to see if I can 'guess' the plot or get pulled in by the author's voice. That is how I started reading one of my favorite authors of all time, Jenny Crusie. I picked up a hardback copy of her Welcome to Temptation at the library and it had no book cover. Just a Red bound book with simple gold letters with the name of the book and author on the front. I've since read everything I could find that she's written. 

I see that I'm tiptoeing around the fact that I really don't know what to do with absolutely hating these books. I do and it' goes against something integral in me to say they are bad. I still try and find some glimmer of good writing or interesting premise or something. So not finding anything good to say makes it worse. I feel betrayed. These weren't random picks. These were recommended books, well reviewed books, or books with descriptive blurbs and hype. They were also poorly written; failing basic characterization, forgetting Rule #1 Show, Don't Tell, with verbose and inane detailing or what I like to call Filler, they had no plot meaning literally no beginning or middle or (heaven forbid) no end, errors in wordage, obvious lack of research, general lack of editing (12 pages describing the character attending a yoga class is awful 75 pages is ridiculous and stopping to give a two page description of your main character sleeping in a chair is not fun by any standard). Even an abundance of typos which I admit are just a pet peeve of mine but I can overlook it mostly because I'm enjoying the book but in combination with all this typos become glaring. In the boredom and frustration I've got plenty of time to notice you've misspelled your main characters name twice and the word house, on a single page.

I guess the worst part for me is that none of these books were about or actually contain the novels as advertised. Bait and Switch, how I loathe thee. If you advertise as a intelligent new look on a popular sub-genre filled with historical accuracy and an intriguing mystery all surrounding a Genre Hero then that's what I'm expecting to read! Not a knock-off of a currently popular book in an entirely different genre. Badly written no less. If you say your new book is a romance I actual expect there to be a romance between somebody somewhere in your book. No I really don't care if you find 'romantic entanglements' against your religion! Have the damn side-kick fall in love! Oh wait you don't have one! Cause no one other than your main character appears for more than three seconds it takes you to brush them off and wander about spouting the same cliche over and over. 

Okay after a few deep breaths I'm a little less foamy at the mouth. Reading goes beyond a hobby for me. It is an integral part of my life and has been since I was born. As I said my mother read to me as a baby and has even said she read aloud while she was pregnant. I think it was probably around that time when the craze was playing Mozart to your unborn to boost intelligence. And well, I do like Mozart. Either way this latest streak of bad book luck shakes something deep within me. I am seemingly faced with 'The Dark Ages of Literature' which is what I've been calling it in my head all day. Most likely it is a result of my lifelong learning about writing. It's like the more I learn the more I notice (and can't move past) glaringly obvious lack of skill or talent. Whereas before I wouldn't read it. I would be too busy reading something else by an author I knew or re-reading a favorite or picking up a random book and liking the prose and possible subject matter and getting exactly what it said on the tin.

I've still got a 25 book to be read pile stacked up on the floor next to my desk that has become menacing and shadowy since I gave up reading the latest wall-banger hours ago. I will not be intimidated! I will persevere! I will... hope at least one is not cringe worthy? Please?