Random Thoughts

Names, Places, and Books...

Today is random thought day for me. One of those rare days when I allow my mind to just wander whereever it wishes. I'm allowed to flow with the Universe and follow whichever clues it sends my way. It's rare. Feel free to skim through this one. :-)

 Names

     I have many names. I have always had many names. Or if you choose to look at it from a more metaphysical viewpoint I have no name. Either way here in cyberspace I'm known as Betty Angel (by the Betties, if you'd like to know more about the Betties click here), Kat Phoenix (here on my blog, it's my pen name), Kat/Jewel/others IRL (depending on if you're family, friend, aquantaince, or stranger). 

     Names have always been a strange fluid things in my life. The only one I've ever really liked and felt fit was a nickname from my Grandma Betty (who passed when I was very little hence the Betty name). She called me, Kissy, because I loved kisses and would frequently come to her to give or receive them. I would even come in from playing outside with my friends just to give her a kiss. So the family that knew me then as a small child still to this day calls me Kissy. We moved away when I was 9 and I haven't really stopped moving since then in one way or another. I think a side effect of all that moving is that my name changes as frequently as the places I live. Speaking of which...

Places

     I am currently living in the Pacific Northwest,  in San Francisco, CA which is a loooong way from Kissy. I was born in New Jersey. My mother, brother and I moved when I was 9 to Virginia. Since then I have lived in: Georgia, Florida, North Carolina, South Carolina, New Mexico, & California (SF & L.A.). Unlike some I have met who moved a lot when young, I actually LOVE to travel. And most of the places I lived were as an adult. As for my current local it has grown on me to the point of being crowned 'The Place I've Lived The Longest Ever', surpassing even my birthplace.

     As for San Francisco, I used to dream of moving to California as a teen ( visions of  Three's Company) and into adulthood and then one day had a conversation with someone who asked me 'Why don't you go?'. It was an epiphany for me. That moment would change the rest of my life. Mostly because I just thought "Why don't I?" And when I couldn't come up with an answer to my own question something clicked inside and from that moment on, inside all I could feel/think was 'Gotta Go'. So I did. That trip is a story for another day though..

Books

     In one of the lost comments devoured by the Blogger Maintenance Snafu, someone asked me about the bookshelf image used on the blog. She said is made her a bit nervous to have all this fire and books together. I'm paraphrasing. Well that is one of the dichotomies of me, Phoenix/Librarian. I've talked about the Phoenix Rebirth symbolism. As for The Librarian, I am a bibliophile. I deeply passionately love books. I have always loved them. My mother read to me from birth. I started reading them to her when I was 3. Ever since then there has been no me without books. 

      I can remember an incident when I was about 6 or 7. I had done something (who knows what) and had been grounded. My mother didn't believe in spanking and she said it the few times she had tried it it had just made me 'spiteful'. So there I was confined to my room for the duration. So I decided to run away. I packed my bag with what I considered essentials and made a sign that I hung around my neck on a piece of yarn. then I sat down in the doorway of my room to wait out my punishment so I could leave. lol. My mother came home to find me there in the dark since night had fallen and I hadn't moved to get up to turn on any lights. She took one look at me, my bag, and my sign and had to excuse herself to go laugh. This was a frequent response to my shenanigans that I wasn't aware of til much later in life. Then she came back and asked what I was up to. I explained my reasoning for leaving (she wasn't really my mother and I had been switched at birth and I would go to the hospital and look up the records and find my real mom) then I asked politely for her to make me a tuna fish sandwich so I could go. Yes, I was a trial. Poor mom. So she inspected my bag and found...My entire set of Charlie Brown Encyclopedias. That's it. By the way, the sign just said, 'I Need A Home.' Cause even then in my world all you really need is books.